Dearest Darling, What to say to such a lovely, sparkly girl? Well, I do love you and you can always turn to me as a resource now and forever. As you get older you will notice I have a somewhat pathetic, chaotic life, but despite that I’m one of the best people you can talk to when you’re confused or feeling down as I have a yoga for compassionate listening to other people’s problems (esp. romantic) and giving excellent advice. Ah, irony, eh? And as to giving you a bit to think about, first off, please consider keeping in mind that the pleasure and pain of life is a constant ebb and flow; so when you’re down, maybe try to be okay with that, and just be down, but don’t feed it by paying it too much mind…knowing that up is always going to show up eventually. And when you’re up enjoy it, but be okay with the reality that down will come again to visit at some point. This notion may seem trite when read, but really, if you ruminate over it, it’s a notion based in having a view that can give you a foundation of peace no matter what’s going on. This view can help you keep an inner core of stable inner-generated happiness that has nothing to do with the things going on in your life—the things you might attribute to causing your feeling of up or down.
And never compare your up and down status to other’s up and down status because that road only leads to feeding your egoic self-image. Meaning, never revel in other’s hard times, or feel sorry for yourself if someone you see as less deserving as you is riding a wave of happiness while you suffer through hard times. Life is way too much of a kaleidoscope to be keeping score and using it as a barometer for your inner feelings. Secondly, you may want to consider keeping the dharma as your closest friend. The authentic teachings, teachers, and deities are all the very best friends you could have because they are timeless and universal. These two attributes shouldn’t be overlooked as deeply valuable in a friend. The timelessness helps you realize that the comfort and joy the dharma helps you generate within yourself is the only real joy that sustains our human hearts for the long haul of life, and the universal aspect helps you see a friend in all people and things, no matter their surface attributes.
One of the practices that has nurtured me through hard times and sweet times—that I go to over and over to create a stable sense of reality despite all the constant up and downs of my emotions—is to focus on the experience of Essence as love either in the form a transmission I was gifted with which gave me in the form of the blue bindu in my heart, or a transmission of the same experience in the form of Sambhu Natha Siva I was given during a Shivaratri ceremony. Of course, you need to find your own transmission of Essence as love on your own life path, but don’t bypass the possible benefits of just sitting, even for only fifteen minutes a day, and steeping yourself in love beyond everyday forms. This simple practice could seriously make your teenage years bearable and a hell of a lot saner than most peoples’. And on a personal note, which I welcome you to try and make fun of me for when you’re older, I sometimes repeat in my head, “You are full of love.” And I just feel this Essence of love pour out of me and into the entire universe, so even when a boy I like doesn’t like me back, or I’m in trouble at work, or I’m having money problems, it’s pretty hard to come out of that simplistic practice feeling like that stuff is really something to suffer greatly in my heart over. Yes, down times and hard realities are just that, but if you constantly go back to the much bigger experience that overlies all those details, that you are full of love, and that love overflows and emanates from you into all your universe, life, and experiences, you can be fully present in the downs and hard times, but not let them eat away at your soul or wipe your smile away for too long.
The more you chase your dreams and desires, the farther away they will always seem. Just love and let it all come to you.
Love, Unmani Saraswati
Unmani Saraswati, JD, LLM is the Chief Happiness Mentor of Bliss Revealed along with enjoying a successful eighteen year career as a divorce mediator-attorney and previous law professor. A lifelong student of how to how to have a vibrant experience of life, she earned her credential as a Certified Massage Therapist from the Institute of Conscious Bodywork in 1997 and graduated from Trika Institute’s Seven-Year Tantrik Yoga Study Group Program in 2010. As a Chief Happiness Mentor, Unmani draws on her ongoing study of happiness concepts and life-skills from ancient wisdom traditions, twenty years of daily mediation practice, and her work supporting thousands of legal clients to bring out their best selves in the midst of crisis through mindfulness and education. She teaches the self-paced online program My Bliss Path™ and live streams with subscribing members of the Blissverse Locals community. Also, check out her free videos scattered around, but presently on Minds. To find out more about Unmani’s mission for everyone to have a Healthy Body, Strong Mind, and Happy Heart go to: https://linktr.ee/blissrevealed